Unlock the Secrets: Your Ultimate Guide to a Happy and Lasting Marriage!

Marriage is a God-ordained, covenant relationship between a man and a woman. Getting married is a lifelong commitment that is characterized by faithfulness and sacrificial love. Marriage is both a natural institution and a sacred union because it is rooted in the divine plan of creation. The free consent of the spouses makes a marriage. This bond is lifelong and exclusive. A married couple's shared love should constantly be willing to embrace new experiences.

Having been married for 12 years, and if given the chance, I would do it all over again with my wife Evelyn, I would do so without a doubt.

We can't claim to have as many experiences as others who have been married for 25 years or more, but after 12 years of marriage, we have learned a few things that have greatly benefited us which we'd like to share in this blog post.

Marriage requires some 'ingredients' for it to remain 'juicy' and 'sweet.'

These components will not only keep the marriage alive and juicy, but will also help it stay healthy and withstand turmoil.

Let's take a look at them.

1.God

He is the founder of the Marriage Institution, so you need Him for your marriage to work out fine. You should never do away with the 'God factor' in your home. Ideally, you should never start a home with anyone without a leading from God.

"And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a three-fold cord is not easily broken." - Ecclesiastes 4:12

In any Christian marriage, God is the third cord. That is why a home built on Christ the solid rock will not crumble.

Our HOME is built on nothing else,

Than Jesus blood and righteousness...

God must not be missing in your home. Do a thorough examination of your home, is God still there?

If you are truthful to yourself and you realize He has been kicked out, please, run to Him. He is still standing by the door, knocking. Open the door for Him and let Him make your marriage His home!

John 15:5 

I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.

2.Respect

The most important need of a man in a marriage is not sex, neither is it food. It is RESPECT!

The role of respect in marriage is a keystone in a healthy relationship between husband and wife. Respect in a marriage (or any relationship) aids in building trust, confidence, and wellbeing.

Respect is a cornerstone in any relationship, but revered even more so in marriage. Lack of respect can lead to resentment, anger, and other negative feelings that are not of God. These principles are the elements that make up respect and are necessary to have a healthy marriage.

Dear husband, do you realize that the way you treat your wife can prevent your prayers from being answered?

1 Peter 3:7 KJV

Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

Ephesians 5:25 

Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

Dear Wife or Husband, don't badmouth your spouse before anyone. RESPECT EACH OTHER!

"And let the wife also see that she reverence [respect] her husband" Ephesians 5:33

"Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him LORD; whose daughters ye are..." - 1 Peter 3:6

One major way to show that you RESPECT your husband is to obey him, as long as the instructions are in line with God's commands.

Proverbs 14:1

The wise woman builds her house [on a foundation of godly precepts, and her household thrives], But the foolish one [who lacks spiritual insight] tears it down with her own hands [by ignoring godly principles].

3.Communication

Communication is the vehicle through which all other important parts of marriage are performed.

If you love someone, but you don’t use your words and your actions to communicate it, you’re not doing right by your partner. If you trust someone, let them know it. Marriage and communication should go hand-in-hand. If you can communicate honestly, your marriage has a good chance of being happy and healthy. In fact, the importance of communication should be considered right from the courtship days as it sets the right foundation of the relationship. Research tells us that open husband and wife communication is the cornerstone of any and every long and loving marriage. Communication is not just about exchanging words; it’s also about body language and tone of voice. Both parties need to be honest, transparent, and understanding for communication to be effective. A couple who communicates regularly will have fewer misunderstandings and issues in their home.

4.Love

Saying I love You to your spouse  is not enough to sustain a marriage. You must show it, You must express it by your actions constantly. Actions they say speak louder than words. Sacrificial love is one of the major ingredients that your marriage needs to survive and be alive and healthy.

You must love each other with a pure love. Watch out for each other. After God, your next priority should be your spouse, not your children or the family you came out from.

Love your spouse like Christ loved the church and gave His life for it.

Ephesians 5:25

"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it." - 

Titus 2:4

4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,

We have established the fact that the Bible says both husbands and wives should love each other.

5.Commitment

Marriage is about committing to one person for the rest of your life. There are millions of people in the world, but the moment you say ''I DO!", you have entered into a life contract with your spouse.

You need to stay committed to him/her. This is highly essential. Commitment is the foundation upon which mutual trust and respect are built.

You have to be committed to loving your spouse. Blindfold your eyes against other men or women out there. You should only have eyes for your spouse.

You have to be committed to forgiving your spouse when the occasion calls for it. Forgive and forget.

You have to be committed to trusting your spouse.

6.Trust

Trust is the foundation for any relationship. Without it, the relationship will be shaky and will eventually fail. Lack of trust is the main reason relationships fall apart. Trust is the foundation for your relationship and the key to love. When you trust your partner, then you feel secure that they won’t leave in difficult times. This is the key for love to build and grow.

Why?

Because, if you don’t have trust it means you won’t feel secure that your partner will love you and be loyal to you. After all, trust means you can rely on your partner, can confide in them and feel safe with them.

Trust and truth go hand in hand. That is why deception of any sort is the biggest trust killer. 

There is no such thing as a white lie. Being honest with your spouse includes telling the truth about where you were, whom you talked to, what you said and where you spent money. Many marriages have been saved because both spouses committed to being honest, even if it involved painful truths.

According to a proverb, trust is like a glass that, once broken, can never be repaired. The metaphor of a glass implies fragility and the idea that trust can be easily shattered, much like a delicate object.

7.Make love as frequently as you can as a married couple.

Maintaining a healthy sex life in marriage is not easy; it requires conscious effort. You must be purposeful about it. Couples get into a routine and life gets busy. Adding hard professions and children to the mix makes it difficult to maintain any kind of connection. But however hard it might be, it's important. Good sex keeps couples connected and content.

Lovemaking is more than just erotic pleasure; it is a soul-knitting intimacy that deepens with time. It is created to be a bond between a husband and wife that strengthens over time. It brings together husband and wife in a one-flesh union. Thus, it makes sense that sexual intimacy should be a regular part of married life. 

Making love as a married couple can have a variety of benefits. It can help support healthy relationships and may improve overall well-being. It is also linked to individual benefits including stress relief, improved sleep, increased immunity, and better cardiac health.

Besides being a gateway for pleasure, making love cultivates affection and love in a marriage. It helps us express our care and love for someone without using words. Understanding the importance of sex in marriage can help us lead happy lives together.

Proverbs 5:15-23 (NLT)

15 Drink water from your own well— share your love only with your wife. 

16 Why spill the water of your springs in the streets, having sex with just anyone? 

17 You should reserve it for yourselves. Never share it with strangers.

18 Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you. Rejoice in the wife of your youth.

19 She is a loving deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts satisfy you always. May you always be captivated by her love.

The list is endless.

Feel free to add in the comment section and more ingredients that you feel will help us have a successful and happy married life.