How to use Positive words over your child

Proverbs 18:21
21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.

Words have life. As parents we should always watch the words we use or say to our children. That is why motivational speakers and self-help books encourage positive self-talk and speaking what you want into your life. With this understanding in mind, I try to be very purposeful in my language and my conversations with and around my son and daughter.

One of the most important things I have learned having 2 of my own children is that they absorb much more than one might think. They hear, process, and internalize conversations around them, especially when the topic relates to them. They are often aware and listening even when adults think that they are unaware, playing or distracted. It is important to recognize the impact of statements made in front of kids.

There are several things we need to be aware of when talking to children. Here are a few to start with, but there are many more.All children need the good influence of adults. They learn by example.

Negative Words and Phrases that Will Demoralize Your Child

1.“I wish you were more like your brother/Sister”– God doesn’t create any two of us exactly the same so don’t try to make your child fit the mold of your other child. To wish that your kids were the same is taking their individuality away and could lead them to an identity crisis. They are meant to be who they are, not their brother/sibling. They may be completely different, and if so- so be it. They were created in the image of God– not their sibling. The beautiful thing about God is, He has different facets, and creates us all different- yet all to look like Him.

2.“You can never do anything right”– This is a “no no” so to speak. We all make mistakes and yet God doesn’t throw us away or constantly harp on everything we’ve ever done wrong. Kids are going to mess up, they are in the training stages of their life. Give them a break and brag on their strong points, so that when you go to correct them on their weak points- they feel loved and not criticized or attacked.

3.“You embarrass me”– How terrible. As kids, and adults even, we need to know at times we make someone proud. Kids tend to get their validation from their dad, and even both parents at times. It’s important to show them how important and special they are instead of tearing them down. A damaged child often leads to a damaged adult. It is so important for them to not start out with the wrong view of themselves.

4.“You’re fat/ugly/stupid”-The more you hear something the more you start to believe it. That’s why it is important that we only pay attention to truths. What we say matters. It carries much weight- especially to influential children. Again, point out their strong points. Every child is beautiful in their own way-even when you don’t see it. Don’t compare them to anyone else. They are only supposed to be them.

5.“I wish you had never been born”– Talk about rejection. Don’t put a child through that. There is enough in the world telling them they are a mistake and it couldn’t be further from the truth. Let them know how much they mean to you. They mean everything to God! (Jer. 1:5; Psalm 139:14)

6.“I’ve had enough! I don’t love you”– By all means, please don’t tell your kids they aren’t loved. Love is the antidote for every problem in the world. Don’t take that away from them. They need to know that no matter how much they do wrong, that you love them and will ALWAYS be there for them. Remember that God does the same for us. With arms wide open,He always welcomes us home.

7.“Don’t cry! It’s no big deal”– Kids these days have seen more than they were ever meant to. For us to tell them that what they are feeling is no big deal, is wrong on our part. What they are feeling, matters. We need to make sure kids are growing up healthy, so they don’t have to spend most of their adult life being healed from childhood. Take time to consider their hearts and their feelings.

Positive Words and Phrases that Will Empower Your Child
All through your child's life, it is important that you use positive words and phrases that are going to build up and empower your child. Wondering which words you should start saying to your children to help build them up? Here is a look at several great words and phrases you can use instead of their negative counterparts.
–Instead of saying "You should" say "You can"
–Instead of saying "try" say "do your best"
–Instead of saying "do not forget" say "please remember"
–Instead of saying "I'm no good" say "I can do better"
–Instead of saying "you're irritable" say "you're sensitive"
–Instead of saying "you're being selfish" say "you can share more"
–Instead of saying you are naughty" say "You can behave in a better way"


References:http://motherhood.modernmom.com